I’ve been pondering on this since I first saw this, and I find it is worth sharing.
I read this and initially felt shame, thinking…. MAN I do ALL of these, yikes!! Lol, often, on my harder days I feel I am truly most hardest on myself. And it brings me to this sadness. I feel I am entering, or have entered, or more like – have been wrestling with myself in the areas of self care, self love, self compassion, and you know, all those fun areas that take some deep thought and hard work to go through sometimes. (Lol) I wanted to take some time go through each of these, and just reflect. Say what I think, and really ask myself what we can do to counteract these “negativities”
Try this: “socialize with compassion and kindness”
- Set small goals
- Celebrate all, and even your smallest victories. when you can. Taking the time to do this can be significant. Plus – why not make all your talks with yourself pep talks? Or at least try to, especially on your hardest days.
I think this can get difficult for me because I often want to be perfect, or come off as though everything is perfect; as if I have it all together. As if that means that I have it all. But truth is I don’t think anybody does, or we might/all do at different times of our lives.
I think we can “have it all” if we learn and decide what is important to us and know that God gives it to us freely. That we can have what we want. To each it will be different. I think the idea of perfectionism can lead to much comparison, and Lord knows we don’t need more of that in this social media world we live in. I think it’s important to remember we all walk different journeys. I also think it’s important to remember self compassion and self kindness in these moments of wanting-to-be, or striving-to-be “perfect”
Idunnoabout chu but I can be pretty judgmental of myself and even others pretty often if I don’t check in with myself. Im ashamed to say it. But I have to embrace it, I think this comes with the “humanness” in us (comparing, judgement, jealousy, etc.)…and trying to deny that shame in feeling it/ignoring it. But I think we can choose to see it different. Learn from it, rather than turn to judgement. As I was thinking about something to help “counteract” this one, I thought maybe instead of being judgmental of yourself – try giving yourself a positive compliment and focus on something that brings you life, and not brings you down.
“When you judge others, you have no time to love them” – Good ‘Ol Momma T
Well, have you ever thought – if you keep judging yourself … you have no time to love you. Awesome you! Ever think of it like that!? I know I myself, lack in the area of giving myself love. You know, that love we try to give everyone else? I think we can often do that, especially when we are seeking love and in pursuit of it in this world. We can seek validation from the wrong people, or the wrong things. I think the pursuit of finding it can cause us to confuse things sometimes. You know how they say, love is blind. (lol) But it’s important to remember what is important, and that is that you are loved. And good. And worthy of the love you desire.
“Working hard is important, but there is something that matters more – believing in yourself.” – Harry Potter
I think I often syke myself out in fear, leading me to think I don’t deserve the love that I desire. But no one can tell you what that is except you. I think that we define that ourselves. And in that, it can define our happiness or those true joys of our hearts. The other day, I asked myself the question – what is my biggest, truest, deepest struggle with loving myself…I wrote, “to let myself be myself. Whoever that is… actually believing “I can do it” and that I am capable.“
“The goal is to grow strong on the inside, so that nothing on the outside can affect your inner wellness without your conscious permission”
“This is how you love yourself: instead of begging for the pain to go away, you choose to hear what your pain is begging of you.” – unknown
Agghhhh guilttyyyy, lol. And it is soooo true this does take over your mind. This is new to me to “kill it at the root.” But in my journey I can tell you how painful and unproductive self doubt can be. To counteract this one, I wrote four simple words… you CAN do this. That simple huh? I think so. I think things are always more simple than we think. Some advice given to me once on self doubt once was: “when you feel “off” or “not yourself” – slow down, simplify it.”
Remember HOPE is always something we can turn to.
Maybe try focusing on the best result. Or maybe your desired “best outcome” 😉 You will attract more of what you focus on.
“Not knowing what to do next is a sign to let go, and TRUST whatever comes up.” – unknown
I heard once, “worry is like a rocking chair – you go back and forth, but never get anywhere.” Yet, some days I find myself going there. Sometimes it’s really challenging not to worry about “what will happen” “will I get hurt in the process” “will this be uncomfortable”…Fear. I think worry is fear. So to counteract this, I say courage.
“Courage is fear that has said its prayers.”
Courage is also deciding that what you want is more important than what you fear…Sometimes (I know I) can make up these crazy scenarios in my head of outcomes that literally almost to never happen. And I think we often spend lots of time worrying about these things that NEVER HAPPEN. (I know… eye opener for me too… lol) It’s true though isn’t it. I mean, you got that degree. You accomplished that 5K run you never thought you could do. etc. etc. You hear it all the time. Again, I think worry has to do with fear. And I think it’s about getting to the root of that, knowing that it may be a call to a deeper trust, in yourself.. In others, This beautiful universe, In God, and His great love for you. Things are really not as bad as we can make them in our head. I think it’s important to separate what we think, from what we believe, and what is actually true. Then deciding what you want to spend time thinking more of. Remembering, we attract more of what we focus on.
I think gratitude may be the answer for this one, what do you think? I know I don’t spend enough time being thankful for even the little blessings I can, and instead spend my headspace on more productive things. A goal for me is to become better, and I think in realizing – for me, the difference between what it feels like to have your life filled with negativity vs positivity – it is much more life giving to focus on what is good and healthy for you. Sometimes its hard to see/realize this is a choice. I have been there. Realize what is beyond/out of control and embrace it with compassion and acceptance. I know it might cheesy, but I found that for me – at the end of the day it has been helpful to review my day with four important things: compassion and understanding, acceptance and kindness. I don’t think we have to be perfect at it. But I do think it takes humility to accept that we are not really in control of most things. And really, it always turns out ok. Remember those moments during the hard times. Or maybe when you feel overwhelmed by worry, or too much to do.
“When fear and failure surrounds me, You’ve never failed – and you wont start now”
Oceans – Hillsong United